Here is one of the essays that came out of my "Women Writing for (a) Change" writing class.

Today is the last class . . .I'll miss it, but I am already anticipating the class I am taking this summer . . .

Your opinions of and reactions to this essay are welcome and appreciated :-)

Coming Home
By Andrea Dale, (c) May 13, 2008

Clearly understanding what I am thinking and feeling, enables me to change. But understanding my exact internal thoughts is a skill onto itself.

At one time, I faced "living alone" with a resigned, deep sadness and almost maniac desperation. I distracted myself by playing CDs, surfing the internet, reading a book, or just leaving the house. I fussed about friends who didn't call, bugged my boyfriend for conversation, and well, went a little nuts sometimes. I existed in a muddle of tangled feelings, running aimless circles in the dead-quiet house around me.

I knew friends who found solace in living alone and I wondered "How does that happen?" I desired that serenity and comfort for myself.

But how could I relish doing things on my own out of the house, but not in the house? How confusing. I often inhale restaurant meals, hike at the park and attend various events, quite happily on my own. As a consultant and writer, I typically work solo, tucked away in my home office in the basement. I didn't feel "alone" there either.

It was the living alone in my house which frustrated me.

While I was cooking dinner I thought "What do I see in my head, when I think of the phrase 'living alone' ?" I stood next to the stove, shut my eyes and visualized my living room when I was home.

I wasn't sitting in my chair reading, or strumming my guitar, or even sweeping the floor.

Nope. I was shocked to discover an empty room, full of dust.

Wow.

I did not include myself, as part of the definition of "living alone." I interpreted the phrase as "living with no one."

When I mentioned this realization to a friend, she said "Oh, you discounted yourself."

No, that's not true. I did not think I wasn't worth living with, no.

But. When I was divorcing, many friends said to me, "Oh, you will be lonely." And I swallowed their assumption whole. I didn't take the time to decide what living alone meant to me.

And because I value myself, I took me out of the "picture." For without Andrea, I would feel alone.

Well, I don't think of living alone, as living with "no one" anymore. At the end of a busy day, I no longer walk upstairs into loneliness, because I now come home, to me.

Today I attended to a fun, full of sugar, and chaotic "Mother's Day Tea" at Matt's preschool/daycare, where I managed to snare a slice of rich chocolate cake (and contributed homemade chocolate chip cookies.)

I also got a spiffy bookmark from Matt and won a bottle of Ocean Spring shower scrub as a door prize :-)

From Nick, I've got a lovely drawing of myself with a sweet poem, a potted flower (which I promptly transplanted in the herb pots) and a paper butterfly.

All wonderful stuff . . .

Very much looking forward to when Jim buys the boys and I breakfast at my favorite breakfast place, FirstWatch on Sunday morning *s.*

Mother's day was/is pretty fabulous this year *smile.*

This morning, I had a solid hour and a half of full throttle writing.

Yay me!!

I've got my two boys this week, so it's time to get them up and ready for the day.

And to get another cuppa coffee along with bowl of steel cut oats with applesauce, almonds and dried cranberries. Yummm . . .

Life is good :-)

How do I feel, when I am intensely focused on writing and editing?

Not when I am feeling “creative” per se, but when every iota of me, is focused on the copy before me.

No interruptions, no email, no phone calls . . Just full throttle writing.

Oh god, it feels soooooooooooooooo good. My brain roils in the attention to detail, submersed in thoughts, ideas and pointy focus. My spirit and I work together as one . . .Excited, entertained and very, very happy. I write, look up words in my thesaurus, make word maps, type up little spurts of free prose, play music on my CD player, and scratch out notes with my red pen. I travel with my words around the house, making notes as I eat lunch, clean, and walk outside. I let the energy yank me around, like mother cat snatching her kittens out of the way, one by one by one.

It’s consuming and highly satisfying.

I feel this way when I create my best business copy, song lyrics, tag lines, e-zine articles . . All of those.

Full throttle writing scratches an itch, that is never stays quiet for long.

But I often forget that yummy feeling against the backdrop of kids, bills, boyfriend, work and fidgets.

I must recall how good it feels and pursue it doggedly, for that is why I write.

My kids are awake and talking upstairs in their room.

Jim is back home, safe and sound from his trip.

I've got work to do and clients to call today.

It's quite pretty outside.

Loved seeing old friends last weekend.

Very much enjoyed reading my new poem at writing class yesterday :-)

Matt is speaking in full sentences and his attention span is definitely improving.

Nick and I sat outside on a bench yesterday and read Dr. Suess' "What I saw on Mulberry Street."

And I've got a fresh cuppa coffee sitting by my computer.

Life is good!

What are your little wonderful things today?

I am going to start posting about my work and success (or lack thereof) of getting new clients. This will include my various tactics, the number of calls I am making, and what kind of work I am getting.

Since I certainly do NOT assume that this is interesting to you, let me know (by commenting) if you'd like to be on my filter for "To The Point Business" posts :-)

Thanks!

Just a quick note to say that I had a fabulous time zipping up to Waukegan, IL this weekend to see Graham's (musicmutt's) concert.

Thank you again to alymid and E for putting me up, I enjoyed getting to know you better *grin.*

The drive up and back wasn't too painful due to listening to podcasts on my iriver and a CD book by Sue Grafton. I arrived Friday evening, settled in and chatted a bit with my hosts before going to bed. The next day, I met their housemate P, and ate freshly baked muffins for breakfast before calling Graham in Evanston, IL. Graham and Becca were staying with Becca's Aunt along with Chaz and Bonnie. I drove down, tracked down Graham and the crew and had a lovely time. Graham and I caught up, while taking windy walk outside by Lake Michigan, and then all of us munched on Philly cheese steaks (yumm!!) before heading back up to Waukegan for the house concert.

Graham put on a smashing concert for about 25 attendees :- ) I chatted with several old friends, which was great, and I got to flirt with Katie, the Roper's little girl, which was particularly fun. Post-concert, a bunch of us huddled and sang songs until 2 am. When Graham, Becca, Chaz, Bonnie and Becca's aunt were ready to head home, we said our goodbyes and then everyone (staying at alymid's) passed out. The next day, we enjoyed a late breakfast at Emily's pancake house, before I headed home.

It was wonderful seeing everyone, and catching up on news and such. I enjoyed the concert, the housefilk and well . . Just being in the filk community again.

I've missed it *rueful sigh.*

Let me extend a hearty "thank you!" to alymid for hosting Gray's house concert :-)

Yesterday, a little boy in Nick's class was hit, hard, by a pick-up truck while crossing the street.

He was taken to the hospital immediately. I found out about Eli when I dropped Nick off on Thursday and I'll hopefully find out more next week.

I've been thinking of him and his family, off and on, throughout yesterday and this morning.

There were two other kids hit last week in Cincinnati as well, while walking to school. One of them was driven over by someone backing up.

When you drive by schools, please slow down. Watch out for pedestrians, kids, and anyone on the street where ever you drive.

Many kids are hard to see in your rearview mirror, they are little guys, after all.

And there is NO such thing as a tie, when it comes to automobiles and pedestrians.

*sigh*

So, it's now official.

This weekend I am heading up to Waukegan, IL (north of Chicago) to stay at alymid's house, to see Graham Leather's concert, play music and see friends.

I'll be driving up Friday and heading back on Sunday.

So who will I see at the concert and the song circle afterwards?

Three things.

1) Allergies SUCK.

2) Coffee is a very, very good thing this morning.

3) I will miss Jim while he's out of town on a business trip this week.

*Yawwwwwnnnnnnn*

Yay, the coffee is ready!!

So, how are you this morning?

Do you have any pithy, non-illuminating, comments for me?

I woke up at about 5:45 am this morning . .

As my eyelids slowly opened, the bed started shaking, and then the desk on the far wall shook, and then it stopped and started and stopped.

For about a minute, I sleepily thought about poltergeists, cats (nope, don't have any here) and recalled memories of Japan, when I hid under my bed during a minor shaking incident.

Then everything shook again, and I began wondering if I was having a weird dream.

Since sleep wasn't going to happen and I had lots of work to do, I finally got up and realized "Oh, that must have been an earthquake." And got some coffee.

That whole experience was quite surreal.

I am also amused that if I had heard my kids crying, I would have immediately bounced out of bed and dashed downstairs.

But an earthquake?

Nah, I'll just lay in bed and sleepily wonder what the heck is going on *grin.*

For the last two years, I've written for other people. Usually marketing copy, sometimes articles, brochures, all sorts of things.

Song lyrics were what I wrote for myself, along with blogging and the occasional stint of journaling. Two years ago, I had planned a trip to England, to see friends, attend a filkcon and to begin planning some personal writing projects. Needless to say, the time and money were transferred to moving, and my divorce. Oh well *resigned look.*

In December 2007 a newspaper article about me, published in the Cincinnati Enquirer, brought emails and phone calls from two women who were interested in learning more about freelance writing. During my conversations with each woman, both mentioned taking classes at "Women Writing for (a) Change." I had heard about this group and institution for ages. It was time to finally satisfy my curiosity. I visited their web site . . .And found myself registering for a Tuesday morning class.

I've struggled to find communities in Cincinnati where I feel comfortable and where I feel a sense of belonging. And my commitments of parenthood, and self-employment can make it tough sometimes. Contra dance is one, running used to be another community (which I gave up due to knee problems), but I was still hunting for others.

I've found another community at this "school." This place and classes give me the structured, consistent interaction I need to avoid going nuts as someone who primarily works alone. The compassionate, serene and yet thought-provoking environment nurtures me and my writing, which I've badly needed. It reminds me of the filk community in some ways, just like the contra dance community does too.

Needless to say, I've already registered for another class, this summer.

I realize I haven't said much about the classes themselves, because it's private. Anything that is said or read there, stays there. This "space" is for me and the other 14-15 women who attend every Tuesday morning. But if you're curious, visit the web site, and feel free to contact me if you're considering taking a class :-)

Let me note that while the classes are mostly for adult women, there are classes for men, young women and also "co-ed" courses.

I've got the flu or a bad cold, I can't tell yet

I had a mild temperature last night and today my sinuses are aching. *sigh*

But whether I feel crappy or not, I hope everyone has a great time at FKO! (And no, I am not going.)

Are you a sole proprietor, small business owner or a "marketing" person ?
If you are, sign up for my twice-a-month e-newsletter called "Concise Marketing Advice." Every other Tuesday, you'll learn practical marketing tips and strategies that help you gain more customers and beat out the competition. Visit To The Point to sign up!

Techy Problem Solving
I am a happy geek girl.

I've got an older laptop with Windows ME, that I've wanted to use for journaling, but I couldn't figure out how to get the files off the machine for archiving. The IBM Thinkpad's CD and USB drives aren't compatible with read/write CDs or USB drives (but USB cables are fine as you'll see), and while it does have a 3.5" drive, I don't have a 3.5" drive on my work Dell laptop.

(And I just wasn't up to figuring out how to get these two systems to "see" each other's hard drives via ethernet.)

Hmmm . . .

I looked through my various software CDs and discovered that my iRiver software was compatible with Windows ME. Maybe I could transfer the files using my iRiver? So, I installed the software on the old laptop, attached the USB cable and iRiver and . . . Woot!! It worked!

Yay me!!

Work
On other fronts, my work is slowly shifting into more marketing consulting, in addition to the writing projects. This Monday, a senior level business coach and workforce trainer is coming to Cincinnati, so we can work on her marketing, and a web site makeover. I am quite excited about this change and look forward to similar upcoming projects with the three new clients' I've signed on in the last month,

Contra Dance
Last weekend I danced my butt off at our local contra dance weekend, Pigtown Fling. I had a great time seeing friends, dancing and well, clearing my head after a busy month. Definitely a sanity keeper :-)

This posting is in reference to the following invite: "Everyone has things they blog about. Everyone has things they don't blog about. Challenge me out of my comfort zone by telling me something I don't blog about, but you'd like to hear about, and I'll write a post about it. Ask for anything [within reason] : latest movie watched, last book read, favorite type of underwear, writing stuff, etc. Repost in your own journal if you are so inclined.

I was asked by celticmom1967

"What inspires you? What are your muses? What things inspire you to write or reflect?"

1) What Inspires me to write?

I'll tell a story about a song that I am finishing right now. My landlord, who also rehabbs houses, renovated my home in three months, which is unheard of in the field of home rehabbing. Why did he do this? Because (a couple of years ago) I needed to move out of my (now) ex-husband's home in March, and we agreed I'd rent the home, in January.

Rich has renovated homes throughout Cincinnati. One reason he moved here and began this business, is the wealth of interesting, solidly built smaller homes in this town. He also truly enjoys, for both spiritual and business reasons, turning an abused, older house into someone's home.

So he gave me a home, when I badly needed it.

After seeing this home come into fruition in such a short time and moving in, I wrote him a song. I hadn't finished it until last weekend, why? Because Rich is going through a rough time right now. A friend and colleague of his, Jake, is dying. Jake has helped Rich build homes for a long time. I've never forgotten seeing Jake's tall, skinny figure, wearing a rather startled expression while welding a broom, when I first walked into what is now my bedroom.

So, Rich's gift to me, inspired me to first write the song. And now, Rich's grief is inspiring me to finish it.

2) What inspires introspection?

Here's another story.

I've struggled with living alone for quite a while, with the realization that I shouldn't invite someone to share my life again until I've learned to do this, fairly well. About a month ago, while I was cooking dinner I thought to myself "What do I see in my head, when I think of 'living alone?' "

And was shocked to discover an empty room full of dust.

I did not know that I didn't include living with myself as part of the definition of "living alone."

Wow.

What inspired this reflection and "Ah hah!" moment? My intense desire and impatience with wanting to move on in my life, because of how I feel about Jim. Also unlike me, he finds solace in being alone with himself, and I wanted the same, so his example also inspired me and gave me hope.

Needless to say, I don't think of living alone, as living with "no one" anymore *smile.*

I am inspired by intense emotions, thankfulness, a feeling of belonging (like filk conventions and contra dance), live music, contra dancing itself, my kids, but more than anything, by change or a desire to change. When I am bored or not excited by life, I don't write and I am unhappy. (Which is something I remind myself of diligently, when life is a bit much . . .)

celticmom1967, thank you for asking the question!

So if you, the reader, have a question, fire away :-)

"Everyone has things they blog about. Everyone has things they don't blog about. Challenge me out of my comfort zone by telling me something I don't blog about, but you'd like to hear about, and I'll write a post about it. Ask for anything [within reason] : latest movie watched, last book read, favorite type of underwear, writing stuff, etc. Repost in your own journal if you are so inclined.

One note, however, if it's personal stuff (which is fine), I'll lock it so only you and the individuals on my friends' list can read it. My clients and sales prospects *do* Google my name, and they just don't need to know details about my personal life *wry look.*

Wow, I am in a bit of a shock right now.

I was just asked to be a speaker for a coaches training program . . .

That's a first for me and I am *quite* excited about it.

Yay!!!

I've got a new cartoon idea for Debbie Ridpath Ohi and her Writer/Mom cartoons. (Here's an example: http://www.inkygirl.com/comic-the-writing-mom/)

It's of a Mom in her office, with every arm and leg strettchccheddd out. Each limb is labeled with statements like 1) Writing to do 2) Get more clients 3) Laundry 4) make dinner 5) Breath enough oxygen to avoid freaking out. 7) Must eat NOW 6) Mad plans to escape to some place ALONE

While in the background a little voice yells "Mom, Nick just cut off his hair off again!!"

And the Mom's facial expression is little deranged (of course).

------------
Actually, I am having a grand day, it's just well . . . Busy :-)

And it's time for a fresh cuppa coffee, right?

I discovered about two weeks ago, that I could get a great workout by hiking with hiking poles, in Ault park :-)

I can walk much faster, and go up and down steeper terrain quickly (and much safer) with poles. I occasionally land on my butt (with a bit of a squawk, scaring the woodland creatures), but that's what a laundry machine is for *grin.*

Tomorrow, in my desire to give my knees a break and get more fit, I will swim laps at the YMCA. I've avoided doing laps for decades because of the many hours spent going up and down the pool on high school and college swim teams.

Oh well, nothing like two creaking knees to get me back into that chemically treated water *wry look.*

But I've got to do more than hike and I still dislike lifting weights (and running is out), so this is my compromise.

Wish me luck!

A busy day with the boys. We visited the bookstore and got some books and a drawing book for Matt and Nick, with gift cards from their Aunt Angela (my sister).

After lunch I dragged a stubborn Nick (Matt wanted to go) onto a wooded trail at Ault Park. About 10 minutes later he forgot that he didn't want to walk and enjoyed the sunshine, slushy ice and mud *grin.* After walking and playing with sticks for 25 minutes, Matthew didn't want to come back and Nick was hungry, so I carried Matt back to the car, before we headed home for a snack.

They munched down a couple of oranges before snuggling up together to watch a DVD for a little bit (both were quite tired). Their blond heads were incredibly cute sticking out of the blue quilt, on the chair . . .And of course they both perked up again after a (rather huge) dinner.

Then it was showers, reading books and snuggles on Nick's bed, and bedtime. Their room was dead silent about 10 minutes after I turned off the lights. :-)

Jim is out of town this evening, celebrating a family birthday out East. I am looking forward to dancing with him Monday night at Contra dance. So tonight I am on my own, working on stuff in my office and listening to music while the boys snooze in their beds upstairs *s.*